by Wendy LaFever - Friday, April 21, 2017
Last year, we ran an article about the movie moments that make gun owners facepalm. Unfortunately, we only managed to scratch the surface of the mistakes Hollywood tends to make when it comes to guns. It’s a sad phenomenon, because the glaring errors can take a firearms enthusiast out of the moment, and make it harder to enjoy what would otherwise be good entertainment. Here are four more movie moments that make gun owners laugh out loud (and not in a good way).
1. The Magic Magazine
How many times have you seen this one? Our Hero has been cornered by veritable battalion of Bad Guys. It’s just him and his trusty handgun. He shoots…and shoots…and shoots. And then he shoots some more. But even though the director has thoughtfully slowed down time to about one-third of its normal speed, Our Hero has never taken a moment or two to reload. And we’re not talking about the kind of shooting that would merely exhaust a 17-round magazine. We’re talking about a gun battle that occupies 10 minutes of screen time, in which dozens of rounds are fired.
As gun owners, we do try our best to suspend disbelief and just immerse ourselves in the action. But that’s pretty hard to do when all we can think is, “Where did he get that magazine, and where can I get one just like it?!”
2. I Believe I Can Fly
Our Hero and the Nemesis are having their final showdown. Shortly after the Nemesis has revealed the precise details of his evil plan to the Hero, the Hero finally puts a stop to the Nemesis with a single well-placed bullet from his trusty handgun. It knocks the Nemesis off his feet, and sends him flying backwards (preferably through a well-placed plate-glass window several stories up).
To understand why the gun owners in the audience just soured this dramatic moment with a chorus of guffaws, just ask any deer hunter what happens when you shoot a deer. Adult whitetail deer, depending on their sex and age, can weigh anywhere from 90 to 300 pounds. That’s roughly equivalent to the weight of a human. When a hunter fires a rifle at the deer—and keep in mind, hunting rifles offer considerably higher muzzle velocity than handguns do—the deer never go flying.
3. The Kevlar Car
Our Hero has encountered the Nemesis while driving his (coincidentally brand-new for that summer!) car. He opens the door, conceals himself behind it, and uses the car door as a shield as he trades fire with the bad guy.
Gun owners don’t mind this one so much when the car in question has been specifically described as being armored—to be certain, it’s possible to engineer cars to be bullet-resistant. That said, the sheet metal that’s used in the vast majority of commercially available cars won’t stop a round of virtually any caliber from a pistol, let alone a rifle. What’s more, car doors also don’t make for great concealment, given that your feet and lower legs are easily visible. For all intents and purposes, Our Hero might as well be fighting from behind a frilly parasol.
4. What’s a Cartridge Among Enemies?
Our Hero has been taken by surprise at home. He reaches for his trusty shotgun, and to make sure the intruder lurking outside knows that he means business, he racks the pump. Shuck-click—that unmistakable sound comes through loud and clear. The only problem is…if he had a live shell in the chamber, he just ejected it. But we never see or hear a live round being ejected.
Why does this happen? In these cases, we can only guess that the Foley artists responsible for creating the sounds that the audience hears are more interested in their creativity than the reality of self-defense in the home.
And don’t get us started on the movie heroes who manage to get shot multiple times and continue to go about their business, running and fighting, as if the Nemesis had done nothing worse than throw a rock at them. We’re laughing too hard to keep going.
What movie mistakes crack you up every time? Tell us in the comments!
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