If you've ever found it necessary to waste some time on the Internet on a Friday afternoon (not that we would know anything about that—ahem), chances are good that you've run across a quiz or two in your time. "What Kind of Shoe Are You?," "Which BBQ Style Are You?," "What Season Are You?." Who cares? Instead of spending your precious Internet on silly stuff like that, you should take our totally scientific*, completely accurate* quiz so you can determine just what kind of pistol caliber you are, because this is vital information that you desperately need before you can begin your weekend*. Let's get started, shall we?
1. Where do you feel most "at home"?
a. In a confined space. I love riding in elevators, and I whistled all the way through my MRI. b. Out in the country. Bear country. I should have gone exploring with Hugh Glass. c. At the movies...or in them. I was made for Hollywood, and Hollywood was made for me. d. What can I say? I'm a city mouse.
2. What hairstyle are you wearing in your senior portrait?
a. I rocked the Gibson Girl look. What? It's making a comeback. b. A mullet. Business in the front, party in the back, baby! c. Parted in the middle and feathered wide. Eat your heart out, Morgan Fairchild. d. High and tight.
3. You're filling out the "body type" portion of your online dating profile. You click:
a. "Slim" b. "A Little Extra" c. "More To Love" d. "Athletic"
4. When people shake hands with you, they:
a. Say "Good afternoon!" b. Blink in surprise. c. Massage their fingers, weeping softly. d. Are grateful they're on your good side.
5. What's your favorite kind of movie?
a. Film noir. Now to find a lanky brunette with a wicked jaw... b. I don't know; I kind of prefer video games. c. Does it have Clint Eastwood in it? Then I'm in. d. Action movies...preferably in which all the dialogue is either whisperedOR SCREAMED!!!
6. What's your favorite snack food?
a. Energy bars b. Fruit leather c. Hot dogs...no ketchup. d. Doughnuts
OK, now count up your replies.
If your answers were mostly A: You are a .32 ACP! If your answers were mostly B: You are a .40 S&W! If your answers were mostly C: You are a .44 Magnum! If your answers were mostly D: You are a 9mm!